Throughout our lives, we encounter a lot of people, many of whom are easily forgotten – in fact the majority won’t play crucial roles in our lifetime. But some leave a powerful impression and affect many areas of our existence, challenge our emotional and rational selves and ultimately cultivate change in our destiny. These are the people who meet us for a specific reason, a reason we usually are yet to discover and may not understand after the relationship has fulfilled its purpose.
It often feels like we were meant to meet in this lifetime and it is these people who have major roles in our journey of self-realisation and transformation. These are called soul contracts or soul agreements.
What are Soul Contracts? Soul contracts are agreements we make with other souls before we are born. Souls we have contracts with will be those to bring deep changes into our lives through unique connection. These contracts are made with a special purpose, and that is to teach us important lessons we’ve chosen to learn before reincarnation. People we have soul contracts with will come to our lives for this purpose, and they will be an important and unavoidable part of our unique path.
There are many soul contract relationships, and we make these with family members, friends, lovers and others. Before we are even born we have chosen our surroundings – our parents, where we will be born and who will be the first people to influence us. In our childhood we start to embrace patterns and schemes of behaviour that will establish our blockages and our primal wounds, just so that we can later heal. It is these patterns that will bring to us people we have soul contracts with, and they will come into our lives to teach us about ourselves, who we are and who we are destined to become. These soul contracts affect our relationships at a deep, profound level. After meeting each of these souls, we will never again be who we were.
These souls we have contracts with will affect our relationships in many ways, but more than anything they bring us awakenings, teach us love and how to relate with others, give us healing and help us embrace our unique path. To find our Authentic Self. Here is how soul contracts affect our relationships.
1. They Help Us Heal
There is a divine plan for each of our souls in this lifetime and it is these people who will help us discover our real path, help us heal, through darkness or through light. We make these contracts with other people in order to help discover ourselves and heal parts of us that need to be healed. Soul contracts we make are there to help us resolve some challenge or break a pattern we have learned, break a theme of conditioning so we can finally progress and empower our souls, by healing and growing stronger. All healing relationships through soul contracts are predestined for us.
In other words, we choose to learn from these souls before we get here on earth, they carry lessons we have to learn in this lifetime and they will accompany us on our journey for this specific purpose. Soul contracts are made to help us heal. It is not uncommon for these contracts to carry very intense emotions, sometimes very painful. It may seem they are here just to wound us even more and add even more salt to the wound that needs to heal. But, the truth is, they are here to help us become aware of that wound, and find the cure for it within ourselves, instead of suppressing or denying it. And we have chosen them for this very reason.
There is a theme, a focus for this lifetime we have to fulfill with other souls, and it is these contracts that change the whole perspective of relating in the future. Sometimes we can repeat these lessons, just so that we can incorporate what we have learned and heal our wounds. It is all part of our programming and the soul we have a contract with is there to help us move beyond that programming.
2. Healing Soul Mate Relationships Teach Us Love We make those agreements at the soul level, before we get to know each other. One of the gifts we get through soul contracts is love, and probably the most powerful of connections of two souls that will teach us this important lesson are soul mate connections, karmic partnerships and perhaps our twin flame, if we meet one. What makes these soul connections so powerful is the huge transformative potential they have. Soul contracts are made to show us the path to unconditional love by challenging us and connecting our soul with another.
With soul mates and soul contracts it is all about two people coming together with a mission to awaken each other’s capacity for unconditional love, find it within and mutually challenge personal growth. These people bring us challenges that we need to face in order to reach our fullest potential and learn about loving oneself and others. Soul mates will show us the path to love, but will also present challenges and trials we need to go through. We will experience hardships as many times as we need, till we embrace true self-love and learn what unconditional love really is. This is why some may have many soul contracts that carry difficult lessons, but that is only because everyone has a path that is unique. We need to make soul contracts for this lifetime to teach us about giving and receiving from a safer place, one that is not guided by fear or ego, but selflessness, light and truth. This will change the quality of all future relationships for the better, as after each encounter with another we have soul agreement with we will speak more from the heart than from ego or fear.
3. They Help Us Embrace Our Unique Path
Our relationships reflect the energy we carry within. What we project is what we believe, what we think we deserve, what we think is right and how we feel, but people we have relationships with are there for a reason, and that is to teach us how limiting this can be, and therefore show us the real path to self fulfilment. A soul we have a contract with is there to help us get rid of everything limiting and restricting, everything that is blocking us and we might not be aware of. This path might not be easy, as the souls we encounter present challenges to us, and are there to stimulate our growth.
We attract relationships with different souls to help us learn about ourselves, sometimes through support and love, but many times through challenges. They are here to remove the mask and blockages by showing us our real selves. Then we will learn it is ok to let go of things that are no longer taking us where we would like to be – spiritually, mentally and emotionally.
We tend to project our inner needs onto others. This can be anything we need to develop in this lifetime. Whether it’s confidence, feeling worthy, feeling loved, feeling accepted and protected, a contract with another soul is made to help us find everything we need, by teaching us to look within.
4. They Improve Our Future Relationships Soul agreements are made to teach not only the way we understand the world and others, but to understand our own needs and desires, our fears and motives. Every person we have a significant relationship with will teach us important lessons that will affect the future of our relating with others.
Every time we encounter an obstacle we transform a part of ourselves that is limiting us. We will naturally gravitate towards change once we realize our behaviours bring out the same patterns that are limiting us. Soul agreements carry different energies and lessons. Some will recur, and this will happen because it was designed to before we incarnated. Every relationship carries a potential of transformation, and this potential will be directed toward the part of us that is predestined for that specific transformation.
When the transformation occurs, we will no longer hold on to patterns we learned. This is why all future relationships will have a much better quality to them, as we are approaching relating to others with more self-love. Some relationships will teach us how limiting our fears are, some will teach us how loveable we are. Every previous soul contract will lead to the future , and they are all part of the divine plan.
5. They Teach Us It’s Ok To Let Go Every contract we have with another soul has a purpose. Usually, until the divine mission for two souls coming together in this lifetime is fulfilled, the contract can’t be broken, even if we are physically separated. When it’s fulfilled and we’ve learned the lesson this person carried for us, when learning is done, we have to move on and incorporate what we have learned so we can become empowered and embrace our true path.
When we know it is time to end it, when we feel it is the right thing to do, eventually we are able to move on. There is a reason why this specific person became your lover and there is a reason why you didn’t stay together – they had a purpose in your life and once it’s fulfilled, the contract is ended. The relationship has served its purpose. It is how soul contracts affect your life. The lesson we learned remains, and it is ok to let go of what no longer serves us.
Five Soul Contracts You Want to Release and How to Start Doing It!
Soul Contract (s) are not really about the connection between people
Soul Contract. Everyone wants to know what the Soul Contract is with their partner, brother, mother, best friend… They think that once they know this, they’ll be able to have a great relationship.
However, Soul Contracts are not about the connection between people, but more about the connection to yourself. Soul Contracts, as we talk about them here, act as painful blocks stopping you from being able to achieve your dream marriage, experience or have business success. When a Soul Contract is blocking the way, it’s disheartening and confusing.
If you’ve tried everything you can think of and you’re still stuck, a Soul Contract may be the culprit.
Here are five common, yet hidden, Soul Contracts. (Read more Soul Contracts book for a more in depth explanation.)
Perhaps you recognize some of these within yourself? Perhaps it’s time to take some action (I’ll show you how to do that below as well!).
SoulContract Number 5: Soul Contract of Martyrdom
Do you find that it’s a lot easier to say “yes” than it is to say “no”? Do you put your own needs or desires aside to help other people (or animals) even when it’s not so good for you? Maybe you feel like you’re a better person if you sacrifice yourself to make someone else happy? If you answered yes to any of these, you’re probably feeling pretty frustrated with your life, feeling that others don’t appreciate you and tired.
You may also feel that being called “selfish” is the worst type of insult. And you probably make decisions to ensure that no one can ever apply that label to you. This is how the Martyrdom Soul Contract often manifests… and it’s not pretty. Once you’ve mastered this soul-level agreement, it won’t mean you’ll never help another person. You’ll simply make better decisions about who to help and when.
Soul Contract Number 4: Soul Contract of Loyalty
Do you stand by your friend, partner, parent, boss no matter how they treat you? Have you ever said, “Yes, he’s mean but family is family” or “I have no choice, she’s my boss”? The Loyalty Soul Contract helps you create a situation in which you are walked over by those you love. You may feel helpless or trapped when considering changing or leaving the relationship because you don’t want to abandon the other person.
When a Soul Contract of this nature is finally mastered, you’re able to make changes in your relationships. Even if you’ve struggled with for years to leave your husband or quit your job, the changes finally happen. The “hold” that those people have over you is gone!
Soul Contract Number 3: Soul Contract of Loneliness
Have you been looking for your Soul-Mate throughout your life only to have one relationship after another result in failure, dis-ease, sadness and heartbreak? Have you tried blind dates, online dating, or settling for someone who isn’t “it”? While there are many different contracts that could be standing in the way of finding love, the Soul Contract of Loneliness can be one of the most difficult to handle. When your soul is adhering to this type of agreement, even when you’ve found someone wonderful – you still feel alone, separate and unsupported. Master this contract and you’re finally able to “feel” the support and love that is out there. WITH this contract, it’s like it doesn’t exist (even though it often already does).
Soul Contract Number 2: Soul Contract of Anxiety
If you’re someone who always feels anxious, nervous or worried, you may have a Soul Contract of Anxiety. Do you wait for the other shoe to drop? When money is coming in, do you count the days until “you know” it will go out again? When one ends, do you quickly replace it with another worry? You may be thinking this is normal human nature, but it isn’t! In many cases, it’s a contract that you took out some time in a past life that your soul still believes is valid.
Why would you ever make such a soul level commitment? Perhaps you felt that your anxiety would heighten your awareness so miss anything hurtful again? (I’ve found with my clients that this is a common reason.) Filtering life through a blanket of anxiety is not fun for you (obviously) or for the people around you. When you master this, you’ll find that you are more able to be in touch with your intuition, which will alleviate your need for the hyper-vigilance. Get help managing the Soul Contract of Anxiety with the Heart Magnet Tool right
Soul Contract Number 1: Soul Contract: Rocking the Boat
Are you afraid to be seen as marching to your own drummer? Someone who doesn’t break rules or rock the boat? Who doesn’t even want others to know you’re reading this website? This is a very common Soul Contract for protection. By standing in the background and blending in, you run less risk of being ostracized, penalized or pointed out. While this might have seemed like a good idea during some part part of your life, it isn’t anymore. This type of contract makes it difficult to build a business, become an expert, write a book, and more because you must stand out in order to do these things!
When you master this Soul Contract, life opens up. So much of what each person has come here to do is dependent on being able to blaze their own path. When you finally master this soul-level agreement, it’s like “ta-da!”, the lights turn on, your work is highlighted and things move forward.
How to Get Started Releasing & Clearing These Contracts
So, what do you do if you realize that you have aSoul Contract creating havoc in your life? How can you master it? For step-by-step instructions, check out my Soul Contracts book . But to give you a quick start you can follow these tips!
The Set Up
Begin by working on your personal energy management! You can use any tool or technique to help you feel more calm or more peaceful. For example The Heart Magnet Technique takes only 20-seconds and sets up a great foundation for releasing your Soul Contracts!
Step 1: Understanding
First, you have to realize that you can’t just break a Soul Contract. It doesn’t work that way. You first must do the work to understand how this agreement has both served and hindered you. It’s like… your understanding is loosening the tooth so that it can be pulled.
Step 2: Awareness
Your second step is awareness. Spend time witnessing the Soul Contract and understanding how it’s been rearing its ugly head in your life. For example, if martyrdom is the issue, notice when you’re giving up your own needs for those of another person. You’ll start to see patterns in your behaviour, and as they emerge, it will become easier and easier for you recognize those times when you tend to sacrifice for others. This takes some time, so don’t expect to get it perfectly right away.
Step 3: Clarity in Choice
After you’ve mastered the awareness portion, a new piece will emerge: the awareness of the contract will bring about a moment of clarity. If you normally say, “Yes! I’ll take your Grandma to the grocery store on Sunday so you can stay in and watch football” you’ll now find that there is a small pause just before you give your answer. Within that pause you have created an opportunity: “Do I want to follow the same pattern or do I want to make a different decision this time?” Sometimes you will make the same decision and you will see the same results – but the more aware you are, the more you’ll be able to make a healthier choice.
Step 4. Master and Release
Once you feel you’ve really got a handle on this contract, you understand where it shows up and how it’s affecting your life. After you’ve been working on making some different decisions, you can speed up and deepen the release by writing about it (automatic writing can be very effective) or by reading my Soul Contracts book.
There is no right or wrong decision here – only what works. It’s a process – a process of realizing the Soul Contract is there, becoming aware of the pattern and how it shows up in your life, and then taking action steps to finally release it from your life. It’s one of the most empowering things you can do as a human!
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